Now I have been pre menapausal before it had a name (to my knowlege,) been menapausal and I am not sure if I am done even yet...some days I wonder IF it ends really.
BUT the point of this post is...I am really tired of doctors who tell me that I should face the fact that I am 55 years old and I need to accept limitations. I go in looking for ways to improve, or solutions, to body aches and pains and this is what I get told. Recently I had a doctor tell me to face it I am 55 and Belly Dancing is probably not in my future anymore. I don't expect to do backbends or some of the more agillity related moves but darn I do want to keep moving! When I ask what modifications I can do to prolong my ability to dance I am asking for solutions in the terms of positive feedback.
I have a back injury, the disk is not healthy...but the parts work and move. I have pain...I can get rid of the chronic ache with surgery. All I asked was what should I limit my movements to ( post operative) to continue to dance. Literally his first question was, "How old are you?" followed by, " Lets face it your 55, I don't see dance in your future" I came home and I cried for three days...then I got angry. I know that there are ladies out there who dance with this problem (back) AND after they have surgeries to correct the pain problem,
Why do doctors act like Belly Dance is a "pleasant pass time for middle aged women" and it is as easy to give up (and as unimportant) as wearing shorts when you have varicose viens?
Because I have been "emotional" for such a long time (menapause etc...) I am not sure if I am being crazy and over-reacting ...has anyone else experienced this behavior/attitude and does anyone else feel the same way about it as I do?
I believe that anyone can dance, and if they have problems they can learn to dance around them. Yeah maybe I shouldn't Layer my moves as much anymore. I am confused and uncertain and I am angry about what this surgeon said...some real and practical feed back would be appreciated right now. I have done the chiro, I have done the physical therapy, I am tired of hurting but I want to keep dancing. Am I making sense?
BUT the point of this post is...I am really tired of doctors who tell me that I should face the fact that I am 55 years old and I need to accept limitations. I go in looking for ways to improve, or solutions, to body aches and pains and this is what I get told. Recently I had a doctor tell me to face it I am 55 and Belly Dancing is probably not in my future anymore. I don't expect to do backbends or some of the more agillity related moves but darn I do want to keep moving! When I ask what modifications I can do to prolong my ability to dance I am asking for solutions in the terms of positive feedback.
I have a back injury, the disk is not healthy...but the parts work and move. I have pain...I can get rid of the chronic ache with surgery. All I asked was what should I limit my movements to ( post operative) to continue to dance. Literally his first question was, "How old are you?" followed by, " Lets face it your 55, I don't see dance in your future" I came home and I cried for three days...then I got angry. I know that there are ladies out there who dance with this problem (back) AND after they have surgeries to correct the pain problem,
Why do doctors act like Belly Dance is a "pleasant pass time for middle aged women" and it is as easy to give up (and as unimportant) as wearing shorts when you have varicose viens?
Because I have been "emotional" for such a long time (menapause etc...) I am not sure if I am being crazy and over-reacting ...has anyone else experienced this behavior/attitude and does anyone else feel the same way about it as I do?
I believe that anyone can dance, and if they have problems they can learn to dance around them. Yeah maybe I shouldn't Layer my moves as much anymore. I am confused and uncertain and I am angry about what this surgeon said...some real and practical feed back would be appreciated right now. I have done the chiro, I have done the physical therapy, I am tired of hurting but I want to keep dancing. Am I making sense?
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Fri, October 19, 2007 - 9:27 PMMy doctor is actually the opposite.. When i go in complaining of aches and pains she fixes me up as best we can.. I asked her one time if i should stop dancing and she said No, that's worse!
I adapt and don't do what i am not comfortable doing.. My teachers know that too..
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Sat, October 20, 2007 - 8:18 AMwell that pisses me off too. Get a new doctor who supports you in who you want to be.
Have you tried any of the practices that were developed for dancers? Pilates, Feldenkrais, Alexander technique... I know you shouldn't have to reinvent the wheel on this issue.
Overview written about professional dancers dealing with aging: findarticles.com/p/article...i_67531493 -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Sun, October 21, 2007 - 6:08 AMthank you for the "validation". Honestly I was wondering if I was over reacting or being unrealistic.
The info on the page you posted is great so far. Thank you...real and practical positive ideas and alternatives. It is a beginning.
Choosing a different doctor is problematic because of insurance issues... Back surgery is $$ but so are PT sessions, chiro sessions. A different and more open minded surgeon/DR is defintitely going to be sought out.
I am PO'ed about the fact that I really think that if I had said Ballet, Jazz and that I teach and perform in those areas I would not have been dismissed by reason of age. ( and by the way I am of average size and wieght...well maybe a little short...overall I am pretty average I don't exude glamour but niether do I exude hoplessness either.
The people on tribe are a treasure chest of support understanding and helpful info...I am so glad i found this place. Again thanks for the support and the help. -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 1:36 PMYes, get a new Doctor! Honestly, what a stupid approach for a health professional to take. Find a:
1. Rehab specialist
2. A Pain specialist that works with physical therpaists
3. A rheumatologist
These are physicians that specialize in pain issues and in how to work around them. Without mine, I would have been sidelined by arthritis many years ago. Instead, I've put floor work back into my routines.
Kitty -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, October 22, 2007 - 3:25 PMYou might also want to see a sports medicine specialist too... -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, October 23, 2007 - 8:43 AMtell that Doc "face it, you have no bedside manners" -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, October 23, 2007 - 5:39 PMI agree! Get a new doctor! And look at this, I don't know if it will help you, it helped my husband with his back and I'm thinking of getting it done on my knee.
www.prolotherapy.com/
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, October 29, 2007 - 10:16 PMGet thee a new doctor, quickly!
I am having bileteral knee replacement in Jan. I asked my orthopedist about limitations. Basically, he looked at me and asked "What limitations? Short of running a marathon, do whatever you want. Only you will know what your limits are."
I am 40, and 41 in 4 more weeks. Obviously I am on the younger side for this surgery. But because of my age, I am still "young" enough, per my doctor, to have a great active life and no reason whatsoever why I shouldn't be able to dance. You, too, are still "young" enough to have an active life. The key has already been stated by you and others - just make the necessary modifications/adjustments to your moves and there is no reason why you can't continue to dance for as long as you can. -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, October 30, 2007 - 8:42 AMThanks...I am on that side of the thinking line. The statement "face it...blah blah..." just made me angry, and some surgeons act as if they are the surpreme power on earth. Note that I say 'some' not all.
After reading all of the above, and kicking myself (ever so gently) in the rear I have made up my mind that I will do whatever it takes to continue dancing.
I KNOW that others like myself have been confronted with this statement too. I suppose there is still an attitude out there that:
"if you are not in the PRIME of youth (18 to 35 for women) You should quietly sit down. wear one peice bathing suits ( maybe even with a little skirt), sensible shoes and toss the hip hugger jeans, cut your hair short, not laugh too loudly, and begin knitting or crocheting afgans for the grand kids."
WRONG THINKING!!!!
I hope anyone with doubts or being victimized with negative input , reads all of this positive input and get some encouragement out of it, and learn that not everybody understands the many possibilities that belly dance has to offer.
I am relearning how to use my body and all the parts to move without pain. With the back problem the abdominals are really important support muscles and I am engaging them a lot more with greater attention to more more more strength and support there. No I cannot do deep arched backbends anymore, hopping and jumping are done ;ight;y with great care and controll. I don't think I will be able to get away from surgery
( and I have never had surgery and it scares me)... because consistant pain down the leg with occassional numbness is not something I can live with on a daily basis anymore....but after surgery that should go away ( I am told)
I am not old YET...Besides old is, as you all are saying, a state of mind. I've met and worked with women who are 20 years my junior who are "older" than me. AND I have met and worked with women twenty years my senior who are INCREDIBLE!. (unfortunately I have some friends and family who make statements regularly that re-enforce the "face it ...55)
I cannot thank all of you enough for your words of encouragement and re affirming and reminding me of my own belief. You have helped me find the strength in my convictions again, and given me some really good reference materials ta-boot.
We must be like the bionic women...they can rebuild us ...they can make us Better...just have to find the right "THEY".
REALLY...thankyou thankyou thankyou..... -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, October 30, 2007 - 9:51 AMHa ha! I like to knit & crochet in my mini skirt while laughing loudly and drinking a martini... thank you very much! -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Fri, November 2, 2007 - 3:41 PMThat sounds like a vision of beauty. As a matter of fact ...my mind is recreating "Whistlers Mother" for the woman of today.....Eliz....you are the "anti conformist after my own heart". that is the vision I will hold in my thoughts through the holidays.
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moRe: when they say "face it your 55"
Wed, November 14, 2007 - 1:17 PMI just recently participated in a Hawaiian hula competition. In hula competitions, there are age divisions (just as in some sports tourneys); the basic range is Youth (6-13); Women (14-34) and Men (14-55); Gracious Ladies (35-55); and Elders (over 55). [** Disclaimer: these are not arbitrary or derogatory distinctions. They stem from a culture that honors older people, with an ancient tradition of respect for life and the inevitability of aging. I'm only saying this because I don't want to distract attention from marijahne's post! **]
I participated in the Gracious Ladies category, and got to witness several of the Kupuna, or Elders, dance groups. The group that won was fabulous!! There were at least 20 dancers of varied sizes and shapes wearing gorgeous, floor-length slinky Hawaiian print gowns with an off-the-shoulder neckline and short, puffed sleeves. Their choreography and staging was far more complex and intricate than that of many of the younger women's groups. They were lively and energetic and graceful and elegant and beautiful.
If their performance is ever posted on YouTube, I'll send you the link so you can send it to your doctor with this goodbye note: "Get with the program, Doc -- THIS is what over 55 looks like!!"
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Re: moRe: when they say "face it your 55"
Thu, November 15, 2007 - 9:54 AMoh Pat! you danced in competition in Hawaii! Which one! How exciting!
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moRe: moRe: when they say "face it your 55"
Fri, November 16, 2007 - 1:18 AMActually, it was in Pleasanton, the Ia 'Oe E Ka La competition. It was the first time the Academy of Hawaiian Arts has competed with a Gracious Ladies group, and since we did so well, we'll probably compete elsewhere in the future. But I doubt if it will ever be in Hawai'i ... so far, the only competition in the islands that interests my Kumu is Merrie Monarch, and they only incorporate solo wahine, wahine groups and kane groups (not even wahine and kane combined).
But even in Pleasanton, it was exciting!!!
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Sat, November 3, 2007 - 8:35 PMMy doctors have said just the opposite -- all of them from my primary care to my gynecologist to my cardiologist have ALL said that keeping dancing would be in my best interest. I have chronic back problems and mild-to-moderate arthritis throughout my whole body. My simple advice is to get a second opinion from another doctor not associated with the practice of your first doctor. And by the way, I turn 54 this month.
Good luck & I'm in your corner,
Leah
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, November 6, 2007 - 12:17 PMMy 60th birthday is coming up this Friday. Let see, I've broken my ankle, had a hysterectomy, had breast surgery, had ruptured cervical disks, and just got hearing aids. But I'm dancing and performing more than many of the women half my age that I dance with. Most people think I'm in my early to mid-40s. Dancing keeps you young. Keeps the blood flowing and everything warm and fuzzy. Keep doin' it!
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, December 3, 2007 - 4:52 PMHello found this tribenet tonight, and it sounds like you have been put the wringer also! Now you are 60, my husband keeps telling me that I'm closer to 60 now and that I'm not a spring chicken anymore. Are you able to get down on the ground and back up without aid? I have had a hysterectomy Nov. 24, 1999 for uterine cancer and have had it come back 3 times, also in my bones and lymph system. Started teaching again this summer after a long long time of not performing, but this winter my hips are killing me! Do you have aches and pains after practice? Just wondering? Cynthia -
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moRe: when they say "face it your 55"
Thu, December 20, 2007 - 11:10 PM"Do you have aches and pains after practice?"
Tonight made me think of your post, Cynthia. After I came back from hula class, I spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom. This is my routine after class these days:
* wash my hands
* wash and scrub my feet
* rub emollient cream into the callouses on my heels, bunions, and toes
* rub St. John's Wort oil (or Traumeel, or Arnica, or my Hawaiian herbal salve) into my knees
Back when I was taking dance classes in my 20s, I never did anything special afterwards, just shower and run to my next class;
Back when I was clubbing hard in my 30s, I never did anything special after I got home; I'd just sleep in late the next day
Back when I started bellydance classes in my 40s, I'd usually take a nap after a workday if I had class that night; after a few years, though, I started needed to rub stuff into sore places.
Nowadays, it's like the maintenance routine is a given. I'll always wash my feet because we dance barefoot on industrial carpet -- and there are anywhere from 20-50 pairs of bare feet using that floor almost every day (which is why I wash my hands, too, BTW). But if I forego the salves and creams and all, I pay for it for days afterwards. The "maintenance routine" keeps the aches and pains under control, though, I find.
What a difference, though, from my 20s 'til today. I do kinda wish I didn't have to spend so much time in maintenance. Sometimes I feel like an antique car that has to be buffed and shined and babied to keep it running ...
No, not really -- I'm truly so grateful that I'm still going strong!!!
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Wed, December 19, 2007 - 7:41 PMscrew the bastard! don't take that crap from some jerk that doesn't know what he's talking about!
go find another doctor or health provider, there is nothing to stop you from dancing, keep doing what you can do comfortably, I would recommend yoga too cause its best exercise for us older people! :-) -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, December 31, 2007 - 7:29 PMIn truth I ache more BEFORE classes than after. I do have my maintenance rituals also,
I experiment with stretches that feel good and have not painful after effects.
I avoid stressful scenrios. Stress just adds to the already hard to deal with aches. I am learning to let go of the small stuff, the annoying stuff and the stuff I cannot change. I spend more time with the people I have good times with and less with the people who have (for me) unrealistic demands/needs. I spend more time doing things that I can have a positive effect on or experience a positive effect from.
I am thinking of trying a nerve block but now I will wait until the new year and the health insurance deductions begin anew. We are currently holding down two mortagages so unless money miraculously falls from the sky surgery is off the table ( perhaps that may be viewed as divine intervention??? LOL)
I just know that reading all of what is here is encouraging and has kept me in a positive CAN DO frame of mind...thanks to all of you...Once a dancer always a dancer...I will probably dance through the "pearly gates" when that time comes.
what I have learned rom all of you is this....Just because someone has a sheepskin does not mean they have More power than I do. I continue to presevere and I will find my way to do what I love to do. -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Thu, January 24, 2008 - 5:22 AMTell your doctor that one of my first teachers retired after 50 years of teaching belly dance and yoga at age 75, and then tell him he's FIRED!!!! You don't need that kind of stress. -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Thu, January 24, 2008 - 10:47 AMMy first teacher was still teaching belly dance at 75! -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, February 11, 2008 - 3:32 PMHi, I had to join this tribe cause I really wanted to post. The other day I went for my yearly checkup and gave the dr. all the "oh, BTW, this has been bothering me" list. When I told him about hurting my ankle stumbling down the stairs -- twice -- (isn't there a tribe for belly dancing klutzes?), he asked what I do for excercise. When I told him I belly dance he told me to dance on my toes, instead of flat-foot, to strengthen the ankle. How cool was that? And he's a guy.
Zina
Oh, BTW, I'm 51. -
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Mon, February 11, 2008 - 6:01 PMI am 55 and still going strong. I have survived a broken back and cancer twice. If a doctor told me..anything but keep doing it, I would fire him for shurly! Yoga is great for stretches both before class and after. I personally love hot baths! Keep on dancing!
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Re: when they say "face it your 55"
Tue, February 12, 2008 - 8:55 AMYou are a beautiful woman and are in no way getting too old for the dance. That doctor was totally out of line and unprofessional. I know it's tough changing doctors because of insurance, etc., but it's not impossible. You have alot of years left to share your beautiful talent with the world. A lot of us want to see you DANCE!
